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  • Writer's pictureSarah McCartney

not making art …

I haven’t made any art for a long time. Nothing has happened in my studio, I haven’t used my sketchbooks, taken any photographs or even written. It’s been over a year and the longer I was stopped for, the more I worried, and the harder it became to do anything about it. I hated going in my studio even and doubted I’d ever make anything again. I stopped.

But lately I even stopped worrying. I stopped expecting anything and as I stopped all that I started to accepted. Everything, even myself not making art. And that was when I at last, got round to tidying my studio. A long overdue job. That year and a half I haven’t been making art overdue!

I wish I’d taken some photographs before I started because it was outrageously messy and full of stuff I’d been holding on to, just in case, for too many years. But as I have lost the habit of recording things I didn’t. Anyway the tidy took two weeks and was from top to bottom and ended with a van full of stuff going to the tip and a heap of wood being stacked on the wood pile. And as my studio became tidier and more spacious and as things appeared I haven’t seen for a while it became a space I wanted to spend time in and I began to make vague plans:

*finish the bottle of resin *finish off, sort and gather all the resin pieces together *clear the resin out the way so I can do other things

*sort through the wood in the rafters *process it with the table saw *sell the table saw *spend some days working with copper *spend some days working with wood *spend some days working with wax

The first bit of the plan ‘finish the bottle of resin’ is happening now. I’ve been using the few litres of resin I have left by setting everything that is delicate before it deteriorates. Butterfly wings, bees, dragonflies, snakes skin, birds feathers and wings.

The second bit of the plan ‘finish off, sort and gather all the resin pieces together’ is happening now. There are boxes of little resins all over the place in various stages of curing, sanding and polishing and I’ve been looking at them on a light box.

I have so many beautiful things and I realise many of them are just waiting for me to assemble together with light.

These butterfly wings. If I do nothing else I will set together and illuminated these three little pieces of resin.

So I might get on with the fourth and fifth things on the list ‘sort through the wood in the rafters and process it with the table saw’. But the third bit of the plan ‘clear the resin out the way so I can do other things’ may not happen just yet.

it may be I will start making art again soon it may be that I don’t the important thing is

if the plan changes course for one reason or another

i will follow where ever it goes

and not worry

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